Are You Getting What You Expected Out Of Fatherhood?

Today, I was listening to a Youtube video where the question was asked, “ Are you getting out of life what you expected?” In my head, I quickly answered, “Yes, I am!” Within seconds, the speaker convinced me that I was NOT getting everything out of life that I expected. They explained that if you are getting what you want out of life, then you are missing a huge part of life. That in fact you should be getting way more out of life than you expect. That life should drastically exceed your expectations. I immediately wrote down, “Are you getting what you expected out of Fatherhood?”

Once the video concluded, I went back to what I had written down. I pulled out my laptop and began to write down everything that came to mind regarding my answer to the question. Maybe trying to find a way to justify how I was indeed living out my expectations of Fatherhood. How could I not be, right? The answers didn’t answer the question. So I kept searching. Until I finally landed on the conclusion that my experiences of Fatherhood far outweighed what I expected of Fatherhood. 

For example, I did NOT expect it to be this hard to say “no” to your daughters when they are looking up at you with sad watery eyes and a puckered lip. I 1000% did not expect that I would change my “no” to an “ok, baby girl” so easily. Or that it would be such an emotional roller coaster to watch your kids get hurt, fall down, fail or be rejected. Yeaaaaaah, not what I expected. Those moments when you want to jump into your child’s mess and clean it all up for them, but you know that you shouldn’t. Or when you wish they knew what you knew to avoid the obvious. Yeah, all things out of my expectation. Because I just knew that if I told them, they would listen. That if I warned them, they would understand. And for sure that if I related my story to their story, they would have an “ah ha” moment and rethink their decisions. No. It doesn’t work that way… and it’s not expected to. 

So as I have grown in this Fatherhood world, I have learned that I have met a lot of my expectations of Fatherhood. But I have lived outside of my expectations way more than I thought. The times where you are hit with the most random question that you know you can’t avoid. So you have to live outside of what you expected. Or when emotions pull at you and you can’t control it, because it’s outside of what you expected. I had my expectations of Fatherhood. I felt comfortable knowing that most of what I expected would be reality. And after almost 11 years, it’s safe to say my expectations are well under the reality of Fatherhood. 

Fatherhood is beautiful. It is rewarding. It has its ups and downs. At times where you wonder if you are living up to your expectations, have some grace on yourself and realize it may be more than you expected… and that’s OK. Embrace it, whether expected or not. After all, there is nothing like it. And that IS reality.

“Life is always Happy With Daddy.”