Credibility Matters
Credibility matters. From a little boy, turned man, that has heard a lot of promises and guarantees, credibility matters. And it matters when it comes to your relationship with your children. Maybe you can relate. Maybe you can go back to a time in your childhood where something was told to you, and it never manifested. Things that you waited for with anticipation, only to later be let down when it didn’t happen. I remember being a young boy and clinging on to the words, the commitments that were told to me. I mean after all, what was I supposed to do as a young boy? I believed in the plan, the idea, the promise… the words. And there was no reason for me to question it because of who it came from. Surely, they wouldn’t let me down. Surely, they knew how much I believed them. Because to a child, the person that they least expect to let them down with words or a promise, are the ones that brought them into this world. So, I remember when those words weren’t fulfilled, how that made me feel. I remember how hurt I was. What was promised to me, meant a lot. I didn’t know any better. I did not know that there would be people, especially people close to me, that would tell me one thing and do another. So, it hurt. It hurt me so much so that I remember vividly saying to myself as I started to go from boy to teen, that I would do things differently with my children. That there “is no way I would make empty promises to my kids”. And as I stand here today, I think to myself, what if I was unable to process that hurt and pain into a positive? What happens to my children if I don’t recognize my feelings and instead continue the cycle? So early on I vowed to myself that credibility would surely be a staple in my character.
Most of us have heard the saying, “credibility takes years to build, but a few hours to destroy.” And for the most part, that stands true. But let me challenge you to think of your children, or when you were a child. How long did it take your child to trust you? To trust that you would hold them and protect them. And as they got older, that you would do what you said you would do. It didn’t take years, did it? Why? Because an innocent child does not have a choice but to believe in the people that brought them into this world. They don’t have the sense yet to decipher integrity and honesty with lies and deceit. So, they lean into what they naturally should. Their parents. But as they grow, it changes. They slowly began to understand and form thoughts. They start to put together behavioral patterns. They slowly began to understand your credibility. Are you a person that follows through with what you say you will? Will you really punish them if they do it again? Are you able to discipline or follow up with a conversation like you said you would? Are you really going to get them the thing that you said you would get them? Can they count on you to be there when you say you will? These are all the things they grow to learn about you early on. So how you choose to build your credibility with your children matters. And it matters early.
“If you were given a poor example of how Fatherhood should be, you have every right to not follow the same path.”
Credibility matters. It’s something that holds part of your foundation of Fatherhood together. You can not do this Fatherhood journey successfully without having high credibility. The innocent children you brought into the world, will build starting blocks with what you give them. Let one of those blocks be credibility. Do not leave them to wonder if you will be there when you say you will. If you will provide and protect like you said you would. Do not leave them to question your trust… your integrity.
From a little boy turned father, there are few things that hurt more than hanging on to the words of someone who loves you… only to be let down. To have to question the trust and honesty of the person who gave you your starting blocks. The person who is there to provide and lead. When that person let’s you down with words, with integrity, it hurts!! More than you ever know, unless of course you share a similar story like me.
“Keep credibility in the center of your relationship with your children. Make sure it is engraved in your foundation.”
